Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you were the one who carried you through the heartache. You are the one who sits with the cold body on the shower floor, and picks it up. You are the one who feeds it, who clothes it, who tucks it into bed, and you should be proud of that. Having the strength to take care of yourself when everyone around you is trying to bleed you dry, that is the strongest thing in the universe.
YOU MIGHT GET MARRIED ONE DAY AND GET TO LIVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND AND DECORATE YOUR HOME WITH THEM AND DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER LIKE WATCH LATE NIGHT INFORMERCIALS JUST BECAUSE AND SEE THEIR SLEEPY FACE WHEN THEY WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND HAVE A SECRET HANDSHAKE AND BE REALLY WEIRD WITH THEM AND THEY’LL STILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT AND IF THE POSSIBILITY OF ALL OF THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE IDK WHAT WILL
[kicks your door in]
YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST WITH THE CIRCUMSTANCES GIVEN TO YOU AND IF ANYONE TELLS YOU DIFFERENT THEY ARE WRONG YOU ARE DOING GREAT AND I LOVE YOU AND I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU AND I BROUGHT YOU YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD [aggressively slams down food container on the table]
sometimes people who are sad don’t always need the “it gets better talk”
sometimes people just want to hear “you are sad, you are trying your best, and it’s okay. you’re okay and you’re alive and that’s a big accomplishment”
because i know for myself unconditional optimism gets really fucking annoying. sometimes i just want to be sad and have it be okay that i’m sad.
don’t make me feel weirder than i already do in my own skin.
a note to self
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.
are u sad? feeling down? look at your hands. think about all the dogs they’ve petted. feel happy. so much happy.
If you are reading this, you have survived your entire life up until this point.
You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the elements, different phases of life. And here you are.
You go, motherfucker. You’re awesome.
Good things happen to wonderful people.
Good things happen to awful people.
Good things will happen to you.
Reasons To Be Happy:
You have this horrible habit of forgetting how amazing you are. I swear, you get so caught up in the successes of others that it destroys you because you’re not them. Don’t do that, my dear friend, you will accomplish all you want because you’re you. You are the possibility of something more in this world. The conciseness you posses is the greatest power you’ll ever have, make the best of it. Devote all your heart to the abilities you have been blessed with, you won’t ever let you down, I promise you this. As life withers away, you are all that stays, be all you can be. You have nothing but time on your hands. Do what makes you, you. This is your moment. Don’t ever forget it.
it’s hard 2 be sad about your body when you think of it as a landscape. you don’t criticize a mountain for being too big, or a valley for being too winding, and no one ever complains about the vastness of the sea. u are part of the earth and u are so beautiful friends.
What my friend told me as to why my heart just can’t shut off to people once I love them. It hurts. A lot.
"You love so hard."
She also said, “Don’t ask God to turn off something in you that is actually a representation of Him.”